Benefits

What the Supporters
are Saying
No law judges who can love whom, but state and federal laws do have a say in how love translates to benefits.

Many of the benefits gay couples say they miss out on are those that come up when a spouse dies or has medical issues, such as medical benefits for injured partners, hospital visitation rights, the right to sue over the wrongful death or injury of a partner and the ability to apply for leave to take care of a sick partner under the Family and Medical Leave Act.

Sifting through the material benefits of being married can be a messy business. In 2004, the General Accounting Office found 1,138 national laws where it mattered if you were married or not (each state, and some localities, have laws of their own that benefit wedded couples as well).

Gay couples also find it unfair that while they pay into Social Security just like straight couples do, they don't reap the same benefits as do married couples.

To counter arguments that gay couples can get similar benefits through other contracts, gay marriage supporters say such contracts are not always supported in court and are not often respected by neighbors, businesses or the government (see symbolic side below).

Supporters of same sex marriage also say society has an interest in promoting marriage for all kinds of couples – not just heterosexual ones – as stable family units usually equal greater societal good.

What the Critics
are Saying
Opponents to gay marriage say that most of the problems that come up for un-married couples can be easily solved by using other legal means, such as power of attorney or health proxies, co-parent adoptions, co-leases, name changes, and wills.

They also argue that gays aren't barred from receiving Social Security, only the extra Social Security benefits available to married couples. This is reasonable, they say, because the legal benefits of marriage are set up for a reason: to promote marriage between men and women. Since such marriages benefit society by providing the optimal combination for raising children, they should get certain privileges from society.

The assumption here, of course, is that same sex families are not as beneficial to society as opposite-sex families. Some opponents go further, saying that same-sex marriages are harmful to children, society, and even the individuals in the same-sex relationship. These arguments usually point to studies that show the higher rates of depression, insanity, disease, child abuse, and other negative factors, in gay and lesbian individuals.

On the symbolic side

Pro

Many supporters of same-sex marriage look at the personal side of what it means to say “we're married.” They say marriage is about making a personal commitment to another person and getting social recognition for that commitment. The argument here is that even if gay couples could get the same financial benefits as straight couples, that still would fall short of giving the golden seal of approval from the state that you get with a marriage license. That license equals the public's acceptance of same-sex couples as first-class citizens, while denying it helps add to the second-class status of gay men and women.

Proponents of same-sex marriage say that society wins out when it gives approval to any marriage by promoting the stable environment for raising kids. They argue that gay and lesbian unions and families have thrived despite the burden of lack of legal recognition. Central to these arguments is the belief, backed by social science research, that children raised by same-sex couples are just as well off as children raised by opposite-sex couples.